Janine’s Story
It’s amazing, Janine thought, how quickly your feelings change about somebody when you decide to divorce them.
After eighteen years of marriage, three kids, two houses and a business, Janine had had enough.
It’s not that he was a bad person, as much as he just didn’t really seem to care. After a lot of walking, a lot of thinking and a lot of talking, Janine decided it was time to take some big steps.
But she was nervous.
Like, really nervous. Paul was the breadwinner and it had fallen on her to run the house and the kids and everything else. She didn’t regret this - they’d built a nice life, with all of the comforts they wanted.
But she couldn’t help thinking - what if?
The Shame & Fear of Finances
She was really nervous about the financial side of things - how do you handle money in a divorce?
She just didn’t know much about their situation. It seemed like Paul had done a good job, building his business from scratch into one that seemed to generate a really good income for the family.
Yet when her lawyer asked for a summary of their financial situation, Janine was embarrassed to realise how little she knew about things. She knew there were some companies, maybe a family trust, but what else? She vaguely remembered signing off on some papers for their superannuation, but nothing beyond that.
And when she thought about returning to the workforce with nothing but an old speech therapist qualification and fifteen years of stay-at-home Mum on her resume, she broke out in a cold sweat.
Janine mustered up the courage to mention these concerns to her lawyer, who fully understood how she felt - after helping scores of people walk this same path, they empathised with what Janine was saying.
Which is how we were introduced to Janine.
Meeting Janine
Janine’s lawyer sent an email to Janine with our details, and the link to book in her initial call. After sitting on it for a few weeks, Janine opened the email for the umpteenth time, clicked the link and scheduled a call for just after school drop-off duties.
Janine had parked her car in the garage just as the call came through. We had the conversation while she sat in the drivers seat, looking at the bikes on the wall - including that $5,000 racing bike he bought on a whim, eighteen months ago.
And we got to talking.
About where Janine is in the process, about her financial worries. We discussed her current financial situation and the trouble she’s having visualising her financial future. Janine shared her confusion about how complicated the financial picture looked and her concerns about making ends meet in the future.
We talked about how we help people just like Janine. The work we put into helping her feel comfortable with the numbers, the entities, the structures and the flow of money through it all.
We discussed our process, the steps involved, what we commit to - and what we ask of the people we work with.
Janine had questions, as did we.
By the end of the call, we’d booked Janine in for her Exploration Meeting.
Fast Forward - Negotiation Scenarios
Let’s fast forward through that meeting - through the 60-90 minutes of getting to really know Janine.
Through working with her legal team to help collate the information we need to build her individual financial scenario.
Through the discussions with the family accountant, and the efforts involved in getting hard data from them.
Through the interim meetings and phone calls, all helping Janine come to grips with the current financial picture.
And through the conversation with Janine’s lawyer, who gave us a rough, but likely, range of Janine’s share of the asset pool.
Fast forward through all that, to our presentation of the three different scenarios afforded by this range - 57.5% to 65%. And the discussion around these scenarios and what they could mean for Janine’s future:
Scenario 1 - 57.5%. Straight down the middle, super, non-super, the lot.
What does this mean for Janine now, and for her future. Short answer - she’ll need to sell the house or find a job in the next three months to go close to qualifying for the mortgage to buy her husband out of the house.
Scenario 2 - 60%, but 70% of the non-super pool and 40% of the combined superannuation.
Janine may not have to sell the house for at least three years, which will give her time to return to the workforce.
But her income needs to match her expenses within eighteen months, or else she will have to sell and downsize.
Scenario 3 - 65%, straight down the middle.
No need to sell the house, will have enough put aside to cover a 25% gap between her income and expenses for five years.
But all non-super funds will be consumed at the end of that period, so Janine will need to have the income to meet her living expenses. The plan for this will mean she either needs to earn more money, or cut back her lifestyle.
And the discussion rolls on, to explore how Janine feels about each possibility. It allows her to start planning for what she’ll do if these eventuate.
What we love about this kind of work is the way we’re able to build a real context for Janine and her team to consider their options. We’ve been told that it helps “make the percentages real”. Seeing the meat on the bones of the theory helps people feel better about the decisions they’re going to have to make in that meeting room, on that day.
Coming out of that meeting, we step back because Janine and her team don’t need our support at that stage. They head into the negotiation phase with some extra detail around what that percentage range means.
How it helped Janine
There’s a big movement in our world towards quantifying everything. If it can’t be measured, so the theory goes, then how can you work out its value?
The work we do - especially during this stage - makes a mockery of this idea.
Because we can’t quantify the benefits for Janine in engaging us for this work. There’s no ‘deliverable’, no saving, no immediate, tangible benefit.
But what we do find people appreciate is:
The clarity of knowing where they are now, and where they need to go.
The guardrails of a what a realistic settlement will mean for their future.
The knowledge of their ‘bare minimum’ and what ‘a win’ could look like.
Having an extra person to speak with, to sense-check with, to run things by.
Working with people who do everything they can to empower, not embarrass.
And it’s heartening to hear this, because we fully appreciate that our service is a discretionary one, and one that adds to the overall cost of the process. So having the people we help articulate the real value they’ve received really powers our conviction that this extra service could be so helpful, for so many people.
Not just clients, either.
How it helped her lawyer
We’ve come to know Janine’s lawyer well, having worked on a few matters with them. So it was really nice to hear them talk about how our work helps support them through the process.
No matter how they end up there, clients experience heightened emotions through the family law process. These ebb and flow, but divorce and the associated negotiations are probably going to be one of the worst things they have to deal with in their lives.
By having an extra set of eyes and ears involved, we’ve found that we’re able to take some of that stress off their lawyers shoulders. Instead of them having to explain where the family trust fits over and over (and feeling guilty about charging their full hourly for it each time), they’re able to bring us in to help with that role.
And, because we’re able to take that time to educate clients on their current and future financial needs and wants, we’ve found that it can help bring the overall temperature down.
Which makes intuitive sense - a client walking into a mediation with no idea of what their financial needs will naturally be more stressed than somebody heading in with a clearly defined context for their financial decisions.
We love supporting great family lawyers in this way, because we’ve found it helps them do the work they’re passionate about - while sharing some of the (sizeable) stress load.
We’re Still Working With Janine
I’m very happy to say that we’re still working with Janine. The terms have been agreed, and we’ve helped facilitate some discussions with her former and new accountants around how to best optimise the arrangements around their tax entitlements.
Once things are finalised, we’ll move into the more ‘traditional’ financial planning process.
Helping Janine define and articulate her ideal financial life.
Identifying the roadblocks and speedbumps in her way.
Working with her to remove them.
Coaching her on the best way to accelerate into her new future - with clarity, confidence and control.
If you’d like to chat about how Jordan and Nathan can support your vital work with your clients, reach out. Here’s Jordan’s email, and Nathan’s.